Called out from homosexuality
Following a rocky childhood that included drug addiction,
physical and sexual abuse, and a lack of a father figure, Janet Boynes engaged
in multiple lesbian relationships from 1985-98. Her forthcoming book, Called
Out, explains how she left the lifestyle after being befriended by Christians.
Boynes, 50, speaks at colleges, high schools, women's conferences and churches
about how forsaking homosexuality is possible. She recently spoke with TPE News
Editor John W. Kennedy.
tpe: You remained in the lifestyle for
14 years. Did you see this as your destiny?
BOYNES: Sin is fun for a season. When I walked away from the
Lord I was scheduled to be married to a man at an
Assemblies of God church. I spent too much time with a woman, however. She was
not a Christian, and I slept with her. I thought I was walking with God, but I
only had a surface relationship and the enemy plucked me out. The Bible says we
are drawn away by our own lustful desires. I walked away from the Lord. It was
hard to come back, but God is faithful to the backslider.
tpe: Can a single encounter
convince a person she is a homosexual?
BOYNES: That didn't influence me to become a lesbian; my
childhood convinced me of that. But what put the icing on the cake was when I
went to a church for counseling and asked, "If I die am I going to heaven even
though I have been living a homosexual life?" I wanted both lives. The
clergyman gave me the wrong advice that went against God's plan. He said to me,
"It's OK. You will go to heaven."
I had a lot of anger to deal with because one of the men in
my mother's life raped me. When I went into counseling, I told the counselor
that I didn't want to be a lesbian. Unfortunately she, too, gave me bad advice
that helped push me in the wrong direction. She said, "It's OK to be a lesbian."
tpe: You saw a pattern of abusive
men in your mother's life.
BOYNES: Yes. When you grow up in a family of seven kids with
four different fathers it's very confusing. I never had a normal father figure
in the home. When my stepfather came
home drunk there were intense physical fights between
him and my mom. I decided I didn't want to have anything to do with men.
tpe: What prompted you to leave
BOYNES: I wasn't happy with that life. I still had a void. I
had tried women and cocaine. I had a nice home and I owned a cleaning business
with seven people working for me.
One day in 1998 I ran into a woman named Tammy who was
shopping at a grocery store at 3 in the morning. We engaged in conversation and
she told me she had a son who attended North Central Bible College in
Minneapolis — where I had attended for a semester in 1980.
Tammy said, "Why don't you come to church with me?" She went
to Maple Grove Assembly of God — right down the street where I lived. Two
weeks later I gave my heart back to the Lord. I got involved in a Bible study
with women who embraced me, prayed for me and never looked down on me.
tpe: The change didn't happen
BOYNES: It's been a process and it still is a process. But I
have no desire to go back.
tpe: How did mentoring and
accountability help set you straight?
BOYNES: These women allowed me to be transparent when I was
tempted. They allowed me to call at any time of the day or night and they would
pray with me. I also moved in with a Christian family that helped me for a
tpe: Was there a risk of improperly
transferring your feelings to the adults in that family?
BOYNES: No, I was 40 years old and they were in their 30s and had three little kids. The mom and dad modeled
the family that I never had.
tpe: How should Christians reach
out to homosexuals?
BOYNES: We just need to be open and be a friend when God
places people in our path. It's not our place to try to save them; let the Holy
Spirit do His job. Eventually they will see the difference in our lives. It may
take awhile. It took me 14 years.
tpe: What can Christians say in
response to gay-rights groups that declare people can't change their
BOYNES: We have to be faithful to proclaim God's truth and
His plan for sexuality. God created us male and female (Genesis 1:27). The
Bible tells us that a man will leave his father and mother and be united with
his wife (Genesis 2:24). It's not OK, as some say, to live a homosexual
lifestyle. People who say, "I was born this way," are telling a lie from the
pit of hell. God doesn't make mistakes. He didn't say to anyone, "You are
supposed to be gay or lesbian."
tpe: But that's a message we hear a
lot in society today.
BOYNES: The gay-rights movement has a plan to transform
society. A part of their plan is to indoctrinate our kids from an early age to
accept homosexuality as normal. Children are impressionable. As Christians we
must do everything we can to protect their minds and
hearts. It's never too late to share the truth in love. When I speak to a
group, I want to give hope to parents who have a child living a homosexual
life. I tell them, "Don't give up praying — even if it takes years." tpe
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