On the clock with Tony Dungy
Tony Dungy
The Council Today sat down with Tony Dungy to discuss his faith — and living an “uncommon” life.
The Council Today: Mentoring young people is a priority in your life and you’ve influenced many people through your example. Can you share some practical advice that could help individuals serving as a mentor?
Dungy: The first thing is the example that you set and the kids, especially, look way more at what we do and who we are than what we say, so how you live is important. Then showing that young person that you really care about them, that you have their best interest at heart because that’s when they’re going to listen, when they know that you’re really in their corner.
CT: How do you believe pastors can encourage people in their church to be “uncommon?”
Dungy: We have to really think that way and know that as Christians we are called to be different and that what we want to do in following the Lord is going a little different than the normal pattern of life for the secular crowd. So we’ve got to be able to step out of that comfort zone. We’ve got to be able to go that extra mile to do the things Christ would want us to do. It’s easy all the time to just fit in and just kind of be the norm and stay inside the box and it’s risky sometimes to do things a little different. Saying, “I’ve never really done this,” “Can I have a Bible study in my house? I’ve never done it before.” But those are the kind of things that you need to step out and do the things that you feel the Spirit leading you to do, even though it might be a little different than what you’ve ever done.
CT: How in your own life have you seen God respond in those times when you’ve stepped out?
Dungy: The times [when I’ve stepped out], whether it’s been adopting children or taking a little bit different approach to coaching than is the norm, whether it’s been taking a stand on an issue in public that may not be popular, when I’ve done that, it just feels like you get that strength and inspiration from the Lord that you need. And you get favor at the right time.
CT: Obviously, you’ve been a very busy man over the years. A lot of other people just in the churches are really busy too, so what are some ways that you’ve maintained accountability with friends and your own personal relationship with the Lord?
Dungy: You know people tell me that all the time, “Well you must have a hectic schedule.” Well everyone that works hard does, no matter where you’re working. None of us have as much time as we would like and you have to try to keep that regular routine as much as you can in your spiritual life, in your reading, in your prayer. And that’s hard, but for me it’s been getting up early. I find if I don’t do it early before the kids get up and really start the day right, then things don’t usually go well. Just putting that priority on the few minutes before everything starts to get hectic, putting the Lord first, keeping a regular routine, whether it’s going to be Wednesday night service or a certain Bible study … planning something and knowing it’s going to be there all the time.
CT: What role has your wife played in your ability to be “uncommon?”
Dungy: My wife, Lauren, has been the special person who’s allowed me to [take part in] some great opportunities to have platforms and do things for the Lord. If my wife wasn’t for it, if she wasn’t in my corner, if she didn’t have our home front down and she wasn’t very secure in her position as co-leader of our house, then it would be very, very hard to do. And she’s encouraged me. She’s been the backbone of our family, and especially when I was coaching, so much of the fall of just keeping the household running smoothly and being that person that really has kept the kids grounded – she’s been very special.
CT: How do relationships with other Christians help us in the discipleship process?
Dungy: It really keeps you motivated, number one, it keeps you on track. And sometimes when you get discouraged, having that other Christian person there to help encourage you is important. Bouncing things off people, “I have this idea, I’m not sure about it.” Counsel – that’s important as well, but more than anything, just encouraging each other to move forward. The world is going to throw a lot of stumbling blocks at you. Things are going to happen, but at least in my experience, when you’ve had other people to be there, it just really is so much more encouraging.
CT: You referenced Ephesians 3:20 a lot during the luncheon, can you describe a few ways that God’s worked abundantly in your own life?
Dungy: As a young kid, growing up and thinking, “Well, I’d love to be a National Football League player, work in the National Football League, win the Super Bowl.” Those are things you dream about, but I never dreamed about having the platform that I would end up having. I never dreamed about meeting presidents or things like that, being able to speak to 100 million people after a Super Bowl game on television. Just way beyond what I ever thought. And, especially from a spiritual point of view, being able to … I couldn’t even imagine writing a book, let alone the fact that young people would be reading it and I get letters of people saying, “This really encouraged me.” The Lord took my dreams and just went way beyond what I could have expected.
CT: What do you hope Uncommon will accomplish in people’s lives?
Dungy: When Nathan Whitaker and I wrote the book Uncommon, we were really focusing in on young people, teenagers and especially boys. It’s been gratifying that other people have gotten things out of it and parents are reading it, young girls are reading it, but we really wanted to talk to young men about what’s important in life. Here’s what the world is going to tell you is important, but here’s what the Bible says is important. And focusing in on who you are as a person and developing your character – that’s going to be more important than what you end up doing for a living, what your career is, who your friends are. And getting that message across. So to me, it was almost like having an eight-hour car ride with my son and having him locked in with me, what are the things I would want to tell him about life?
CT: Why is it so important to reach boys and men right now? How can the church better accomplish this?
Dungy: Our society has kind of fooled us a little bit into thinking that the moms really do the nurturing in the family, the moms provide the growth in families. And so many of our boys are not seeing from their dads, for whatever reason, whether it’s split family, broken homes, dads working more, that they’re not getting that spiritual emphasis of the leadership that is supposed to be passed down from dad to son, from uncles to nephews, from grandparents down. And I think our boys are missing a little bit because they’re looking at what the media says a man should be, what maybe their friends say a man should be, and they don’t always know. And learning starts early, what your thought process is going to be at 12, 13, 14, really what I want to do with my life. I saw it in a lot of ways with 22-year-olds that would come to us, as players in the National Football League and they knew what they wanted to do on the field, but when you talk about, “What’s your goals in life and how do you want to live?” that wasn’t always as clear to them. And it just made me think, we’ve got to get this message out to boys before they start a job and working for a living.