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Interview: "How Do You Connect With Other Women in Ministry?"

We asked several women how they go about starting and nurturing friendships with other women in ministry. Their answers are provided to inspire you to consider how you can purposefully connect.

It is difficult to meet other women in ministry, especially single women in ministry because we are usually so busy and not as free to attend conferences and seminars. When I do find them, like Jana who I met at a women's conference, I had to be intentional about connecting and sharing ministry experiences since we live far apart. It is good to have a few women of similar hearts to confide in and encourage. Right now, I have about four close ministry friends, and the number is growing. One thing women in ministry did at the last pastor's conference I attended was something like "speed dating/musical chairs." It was the best connections I have experienced in a ministry setting. We had 4 minutes per person to share our name, something fun that we like to do, something we can learn from another woman, and something we have to offer. It was so fun!
- Michelle Carver, licensed minister and missionary associate to the Universities of Spain, Shoreline Community Church, Seattle, Wash.

Over Coffee! I regularly get together with other young women who are in ministry. We are such a small group that once we find each other, we work hard to keep up our friendships. My time with these women always refuels my energy, reignites my passion, and reminds me that I am not alone.
- Lindsay Fosner, connection/young professionals pastor, Cedar Park, Bothell, Wash.

I enjoy the guys I work with, and usually don't mind being in the minority at ministerial events. They do, however, have a much easier time of networking with other youth/music/children's pastors. I've met many extraordinary women in various kinds of ministries, but have hungered for local fellowship with women who actually do what I do as a staff/associate pastor so we can "talk shop" as only women could. Happily, another local church just hired a wonderfully gifted woman to a position with a portfolio like mine. Hooray! The longer I am in ministry, the more need I see for those of us in ministry to connect and encourage one another for the sake of the gospel and the church. Personally, I'm looking forward to the Conversations '08 conference (October, Phoenix, Arizona) for the opportunity to meet more women and perhaps expand my circle of ministry friends.
- Jennifer Gale, associate pastor, Evangel Temple, Springfield, Mo.

I find little time to connect outside the given sphere of my responsibilities. So I mostly have opportunity to connect with other women in missions as I go about my ministry responsibilities, i.e., take the opportunity to have coffee together or breakfast when we're at the same event, visiting together in lobbies at General Council or missions conferences/school of missions, etc. Since some of my best friends are scattered all over the world, we have little opportunity to see one another. But when we do, we make the most of it as if we were together every week.

When I am at home where our office is located, I am fortunate to have breakfast or lunch with one or two best friends once every few months.

I also connect with some by e-mail, but for me that is so much a part of my ministry responsibilities that it is not an enjoyable way for me to catch up with a friend. However, when we're on different continents, there's not always another choice.

Obviously, it is a need, but do we make it a priority? We'd probably all be a lot more fun to be with and enjoy the journey more if we gave ourselves permission to get together regularly and have fun!
- Beth Grant, cofounder and US liaison for Project Rescue, chairperson for the Network for Women in Ministry, Springfield, Mo

Currently, I connect with other women through my local church and through missions work. I've had the privilege to meet many women through missions' work, and it has been encouraging to hear their stories and successes.
- Beth Gyorke, newly appointed AGWM missionary to the Netherlands

I live near other women in ministry, so we try to have lunch or pray together every month. It doesn't always work to meet, so we rely on e-mail to encourage and support one another.
- Betty M. Johnson, Christian counselor/minister, San Francisco, Calif.

I am very blessed to work with a mostly female staff, so a lot of my growth in the ministry has been a direct result of the community I have with the women I minister with. Up until a year ago, we were an all-female staff. We have been intentional with each other and as a ministry to experience community with one another. As a ministry, doing community development in low-income neighborhoods, we would not be as effective if we did not know how to experience community with one another. One of my favorite things we do as a staff is have a book club meeting once a week. We read books together and talk about the challenges we face, and are honest with one another in our struggles and questions, and continue to create a safe community.

Another thing we do to build community is hang out outside of work. This can sometimes be tricky in the beginning with boundaries and how much time is spent together, etc., but I have found that our work relationships, even around the hard conversations, have only been strengthened because we trust and care for one another on a level that goes beyond "just doing ministry" together.

We are also part of a couple of local collaborations and national associations, and we are intentional about building relationships with them. That has been a huge blessing and a great way to see the Lord working through women all over the region and nation.

The last thing I would say is that it is definitely a choice, and one that requires realness and openness if genuine community is going to be experienced.
- Keturah Kennedy, director of operations, Mika Community Development Corporation, Costa Mesa, Calif.

I connect with other women in ministry by e-mail and telephone. We occasionally meet at district or sectional meetings, but that is only one or two times a year.
- Carla Lincoln, evangelist/missionary, Asia

I connect with other women in ministry by developing friendships and mentoring relationships with them. We stay connected on a regular basis by doing various activities like shopping, playing music together, meeting for lunch, and chatting online.
- Stephanie Nance, minster/graduate student, Springfield, Mo.

Unlike my days in Vermont when "community" was something one just lived rather than something one talked or wrote about, I find myself in a busy season of life in a suburban rather than rural lifestyle which often seems to preclude the type of "community" experienced in the Green Mountain State nearly two decades ago. There, life was simpler and our children were on our laps. Now, about the only thing on my lap is my computer or my cat. So when asked to ponder the need for community as a woman minister, my answer is "yes." Of course I need it. I crave it. I remember it. But who has time for it? Instead of sitting around a fire looking at the stars late at night, I'm working well into the evening on a book or falling asleep on the couch after a long day of saving the world. So, what to do? We do what we can to stave off the wolf of loneliness and a sense of disconnect by shooting off a quick e-mail to an old friend or posting a note on a new "friend's" wall on Facebook, grabbing a cup of coffee with a pal once a month (especially comforting when that slump in our level of self-worth comes along!), patting a colleague on the back while passing in the hall, or - miracle of miracles - sitting down on a Sunday afternoon (finally) to make that rare and precious phone call to a far away friend. Community? It's been redefined in our day, it seems. It's not fully outside our grasp, but it can be pretty tough to grab hold of sometimes. Catch it if you can. It's worth it.
- Dr. Lois Olena, doctor of ministry coordinator, AGTS, Springfield, Mo.

I just take the time - that is the biggest thing. Many women feel guilty for taking the time to go to lunch or have coffee, but I do it, maybe once or twice a month. In Moldova, missionary women have lunch to celebrate one another's birthdays. And we often call one another. Sometimes the kids are with us playing; sometimes we leave them at home and go out together. But we take time to talk about our lives, our needs, and not necessarily our ministries. And I think that is partly the key. So often we only talk to others about our ministry and we have no one to talk with about our lives. But I have found I have to have friends that I can be real with and share with them my hurts, my struggles, ask for prayer, and pray for them too.
-Nancy Raatz, AGWM missionary to Moldova

Building community is risky business because it involves transparency, vulnerability, and accountability. However, positive returns outweigh the investment.

I try to intentionally connect with women in ministry during the high and low moments of their lives, such as educational pursuits, the birth of a child, a crisis illness, etc. These connections create natural avenues for further interaction.

I also purposefully engage younger women in ministry through our WMBA program. Women in Ministry Being Accountable places a more experienced woman minister with a less seasoned woman minister. This program places emphasis on relationship. Mentoring and coaching are tools used in the quest of healthy women in ministry relationships.

I enjoy treating women ministers to a free lunch in honor of their birthdays. This relaxed setting provides an atmosphere for relationships to develop and grow.
- Karen Yancey, Network Development department director, Kansas District, Assemblies of God

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